Just Breathe by Nadia Kamrath
Breath after breath. I was counting on my breath to keep me alive. Without breathing at these deep depths there was nothing … no chance of survival. I felt completely overwhelmed.
Imagine a lake. A giant mass that goes so deep, most times you can’t see the bottom and the water is so cold it feels like it's the middle of winter.
My mask was unexpectedly knocked from my face. I closed my eyes so they didn’t burn. My heart beat as bubbles rose up from around me. I tried to tell myself to calm down, but I couldn’t. My small fingers lost their grip on the plastic piece and I could no longer see.
This was not my comfort zone. In that moment, I had to make a decision ... do something I had always wanted to do or quit and let fear eat me up. So in those five seconds I made my choice. I adjusted the mask back on my smooth skin, full of water and waiting to be cleared. I tilted my head back and let the bubbles do their magic. And just as suddenly as it filled with water, it was now clear. My eyes lit up. I did it!
But this was just the start. My little body was cocooned in a mass of heavy rubber material that was supposed to keep me warm. Was it working? Was my shaking from the cold or my nerves? My hood almost consumed my entire face and kept yanking at my long hair. I had 70 pounds of gear on, only 8 pounds less than I weigh. It’s a very strange feeling to put 12 pounds of lead weight on your body before going in the water (on purpose!) but the idea here was not to float. Instead, today we were swimming 50 feet below the surface.
Finally my body began to still, breathing hard and heavy, as I hesitantly descended further than ever before from the comforting blue sky and warm summer air.
That’s when I began to move deeper, faster, like a shell thrown in the sea by a small child attempting for it to fly in the air with grace. I thought to grab my mother’s hand but all of my heavy equipment pushed me deeper. I held onto the rope that was going to guide me down and looked up to see my mother’s fins just inches from my cheeks. My eyes moved around and around until they finally spotted something below. I grinned surprised to see how close I was to the bottom. The water temperature dropped as I saw the faint sight of a small airplane. The plane had artificially been placed down in this exact location, where my shivering body now was.
I felt a huge smile come over my face as a little water snuck in through my mask. I was actually smiling. I looked up to see the rest of my family guiding themselves slowly down towards me. I thought about how young I am and that this is something I will be able to enjoy forever. I excitedly motioned with my hands to our instructor that I wanted to swim inside the sunken airplane. The fear moved into the background as I swam through the hull of the plane and laughed at my own silliness.
I had been terrified. I was even scared to go down to 25 feet at the beginning. Actually, I was afraid to go to 10 feet in our friend’s pool! I started to realize how much fun this was going to be. Sure I was dead scared of taking my regulator out of my mouth, but then I did it. And yes, I was scared of diving to these deep depths but then again ... I did it!
Stepping out of my comfort zone made me so happy … happier than painting a picture or writing an essay that had gotten me a great grade on my report card. I could already do those things. I could write and draw. But I couldn’t clear my mask until I tried. And, I could not dive deep in the water until I tried. Now, I am certified for the rest of my life and even though it took me a while to start feeling comfortable, I’m so glad I did it.
Just like Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The future depends on what we do in the present.” If you let the little things get the best of you, you’ll never be able to enjoy what could be. This makes me wonder: How many things are we missing out on? How many things are we too scared to do because someone else tells us we should be? I encourage you to take a leap and try something you're afraid of because it will always pay off. Don’t spend your last breaths thinking of what you could do, but instead what you have already done.
“You may be afraid, but if you do your best to conquer your fears you won’t be fearless, you’ll be brave. ”
Nads❤
